By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
