please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
