it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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