There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
