Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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