My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
