im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
