she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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