There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
you never un-have a 4some
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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