Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
