this beer tastes like vomit already
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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