If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
