just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
