dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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