There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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