What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
