just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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