YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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