eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The power of my boobs compel you
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
