the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
