i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Soap is not a condiment
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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