: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
