i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
