Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
