They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
is wine microwaveable?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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