At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
