That's intense
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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