I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
