I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
God I need to hump something, right now.
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