So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was confusing and full of hummus
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
