Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
