I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
