I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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