Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
