first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
