He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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