Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
