help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Are we still banned from the library?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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