Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
