look no pants
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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