we're blogging at a bar
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
