That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
