Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
did i just pee glitter
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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