Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
