Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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