How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
