I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
