It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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