And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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