I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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