there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
