so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
